Assertiveness in the Workplace

What is assertiveness? An assertiveness definition

Being assertive is an amazing social skill that involves respectful and effective communication while honouring the thoughts and desires of others. Assertive people clearly express their needs, wants, boundaries, and positions in a kind and courteous way. They are never ambiguous about where they stand, regardless of the situation.

Assertive individuals are confident in defending their goals and viewpoints, and they enjoy persuading others to see their perspective. They welcome positive feedback and constructive criticism. With practice and experience, anyone can enhance their assertiveness through practical exercises.

Why is assertiveness important? 

Assertiveness is an incredible skill that allows individuals to communicate their needs and boundaries in a respectful manner without making unreasonable demands or resorting to aggression. It empowers people to stand up for themselves and others, even in the face of social predators and bullies. From a cognitive perspective, being assertive can reduce anxious thoughts and help manage stress. Behaving assertively involves being firm yet polite and handling emotions in a positive manner.

The benefits of assertiveness are numerous, including higher self-esteem, confidence, better relationships, and a greater sense of agency. In contrast, not asserting oneself can lead to insecurity, anxiety, passivity, and low self-esteem, making people feel like they are emotional doormats. Some individuals struggle with assertiveness because they doubt their own worth and hesitate to take action for fear of negative consequences. They may also let other people's desires determine their goals and avoid trying new things. However, with practice and experience, anyone can develop assertiveness and enjoy the benefits it brings.

Assertive behaviour is a powerful tool for achieving your goals and objectives in the workplace, and it's a healthy and effective way to express yourself. When you communicate assertively, you can earn the respect of your colleagues by demonstrating your values and showing that you are confident and capable of setting boundaries in a professional manner.

Assertiveness is also critical for management and leadership roles, as it allows you to handle difficult situations and challenging behaviour from team members with ease. By practicing assertiveness, you can improve your professional behaviour and performance in your role.

Whether you tend to say yes to everything in the office, struggle with intimidation tactics to get others to agree with you, or use passive-aggressive behaviour to express your annoyance, there are many ways to enhance your communication skills at work. With practice and dedication, you can become more assertive, confident, and effective in achieving your career goals.

Assertiveness examples:

Assertiveness is an essential skill that comes in handy in various everyday situations. These assertiveness examples should help:

• Dealing with inconsiderate drivers
• Navigating pushy shoppers
• Handling unwanted phone solicitors
• Setting boundaries with disrespectful people
• Saying no to unwanted requests from family members
• Addressing instances of social injustice
• Encouraging people to practice social distancing during a pandemic

Assertive behaviour in the workplace can be empowering and even fun. Here are five examples of how to be assertive at work:

• Speak your mind and be direct. Assertive behaviour means saying what you mean and meaning what you say. Don't beat around the bush when expressing your opinion. For example, if you don't agree with a new policy, don't hint at your disapproval. Instead, speak up and say something like, "I don't agree with this new policy. It could negatively impact productivity and morale."
• Make eye contact and use positive body language. Eye contact shows that you're confident and assertive, while avoiding eye contact can come across as passive. But don't stare aggressively! Strike a balance and use positive body language to diffuse negativity.
• Take responsibility for your mistakes. As an assertive person, you stand up for your beliefs and take accountability for your own mistakes. Don't point fingers or take blame for others' mistakes. If a project management method you suggested didn't work out, admit your mistake and take steps to improve in the future.
• Make decisions together. Assertive behaviour means making sure everyone is on board with a decision that affects them. Take the time to listen to others' opinions and make sure everyone agrees before moving forward.
• Celebrate yourself and your team. Assertive people take pride in what they've accomplished, both individually and as a team. Don't be afraid to give credit where credit is due, but also make sure to acknowledge your own hard work and contributions. Taking all the credit for a team effort is aggressive behaviour, while not taking any credit at all is passive. 

Lack of assertiveness in the workplace examples

At work, there are always moments where you may feel you cannot be assertive. Are you someone who always puts others first, even if it means sacrificing your own needs? While it’s great to be kind and considerate, it’s important to strike a balance and not let others take advantage of you. Saying ‘yes’ too much can go against your favour and you can end up picking up the slack too often, terrified to say no.

If you find yourself saying 'yes' to every request and feeling overwhelmed, you might be dealing with being too nice. This is a common issue where people struggle to assert themselves and end up feeling anxious and resentful. 

But the good news is that with practice, anyone can develop the skills to communicate their needs effectively and set healthy boundaries – even with your boss! By doing so, you can reduce stress and build better relationships with colleagues, friends, and family, and with yourself.

How to improve assertiveness in the workplace 

If you're looking to become more assertive in the workplace, don't worry! It's doable and it just takes stepping ever so slightly out of your comfort zone. Assertiveness development takes time but it’s worth it to give yourself a place at work. Check out these steps to help you develop your assertiveness skills and confidently stand up for yourself:

1. Boost your self-confidence. Building self-confidence is a key step to becoming more assertive. Take some time to reflect on your goals and what makes you awesome and remind yourself that you deserve to be happy and successful just like anyone else. By recognising your own worth and capabilities, you'll feel more confident advocating for yourself. 
2. Speak up for yourself. Don't be afraid to communicate your needs and advocate for yourself! This not only helps you perform to your fullest potential, but it also contributes to the success of your company. If you feel like you're missing something you need to be successful, speak up and make your needs clear. And remember to follow up to ensure your needs are met. For example, if you need to not be working constant overtime, you have to communicate that instead of always saying yes.
3. Focus on your behaviour. While you can't control the actions of others, you can control your own actions at work. So if someone misinterprets your assertiveness, remain respectful and empathetic while advocating for yourself. Sometimes, being assertive can come off as being aggressive even when it’s not intentional.
4. Practice makes perfect. Like any skill, practice makes perfect! Role-play common workplace scenarios with a friend or family member to help you prepare for different responses and learn how to advocate for yourself in a positive way. Remember to actively listen to others while still speaking up for your own needs.

The best way to improve your assertiveness is to recognise that you need it to succeed. It may mean being a little uncomfortable at work while you establish the new, assertive you, but it’s worth it if it means that you can speak up for yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. 

Types of assertiveness in the workplace

Assertiveness isn't just about being loud or pushy – there is so much more to it than that. There are five types of assertiveness that can be used in the workplace and that you will find in the workplace more than others:

1. Basic Assertion. This is as simple as expressing your personal rights, beliefs, feelings, or opinions. For instance, if someone interrupts you while you're speaking, you can say, "Excuse me, I'd like to finish what I'm saying, please." It's a quick and effective way to assert yourself, especially in situations where you may be talked over.
2. Empathic Assertion. This is acknowledging the other person's situation or feelings and then standing up for your own rights. When you validate the emotions behind what they're saying, they're less likely to get defensive. For example, "I understand you're feeling angry and frustrated waiting for a response, and I'm doing my best to give you an estimate of how long it will take."
3. Escalating Assertion. Sometimes, one assertive response isn't enough, so you gradually escalate your firmness without being aggressive. If someone keeps interrupting you, you could say, "I really want to finish what I was saying, so please let me speak." It may feel aggressive initially, but if you consider you are your own advocate it’s simply just sticking up for yourself in a calm and non-defensive way.
4. I-Language Assertion. This technique is great for managing conflicts, especially in meetings or one-to-one situations with a difficult boss. It involves making specific statements, like "When you do this, it affects me like that, and I feel this way. So, I would like it if you did this instead." For example, "When you raise your voice, I start to feel anxious when I shouldn’t have to feel that way in the office. I would appreciate it if you could use a softer tone when talking to me."
5. Positive Assertion. This one's all about expressing positive feelings about yourself or others, which can be tough for some people. But it's important for boosting your self-esteem! For instance, "I did a really good job today with difficult clients," or "You handled that complaint so well, great job!"

Are you looking to build your assertiveness skills? Or are you confused about how to put them forward on your resume? The best thing you can do is to contact our team of talented WOWzers. We’ve the got the skills you’re trying to demonstrate, so let us guide you along the way.